Deep breaths

So I got blood take waiting on those results. I had an ultrasound and saw the most beautiful gestational sac ever, with a little bitty fetus. Too early to really see even that def too early to see a heartbeat. And below that sac is either a vanishing twin or a subcutanious bleed. I will most likely bleed more over the next few days as that resolves itself. But I am letting myself relax and have faith in this little baby. Baby will make it to my arms. I have to believe or I will go insane. I do feel relieved to have seen all the right things at all the right sizes. I also believe strongly that this was a twin. For some reason I had all the inclinations that I was having twins. One of my sensative friends had two dreams of these twins. So it is very sad somewhere deep inside to have another loss. But I will honor those feelings once I have this babe in my arms because for now it is more important to be strong and healthy for this baby.

God please let this resolve itself quickly so baby can keep growing and we can see heartbeat wednesday.

Please God dont let me lose these babies

I just started bleeding with clots, perios like flow. I am waiting for a call back from the doctor they are trying to get me an ultrasound and bloodwork. I am freaking out. This cannot be happening. These need to be my forever babies. I cannot believe this.