I told my family...well half

We went to my moms house yesterday for Memorial day. We had a great bbq. My bestie was there so that's always fun. I asked her to take a photo of the fam damily and she got us all together then said everyone say...Kate is pregnant. I am the only one who said it and NOBODY reacted for a good 30 seconds they just stood there. Until my sister G said That is NOT a funny joke. Is she joking? and my mom started crying and everyone hugged us. But it was actually kind of akward. LOL (my mom thinks that means lots of laughs hehe)

It wasn't the magical moment I thought it would be. IF robbed me of that Baby loss robbed me of that. I am not lettin g myself think it outloud or even in my head but yesterday proved to me that I am still extremely nervous/ doubtful. I hate to even write it. I have stayed so positive. I am trying to still stay that way. Had to let the negative out so It doesnt consume me. Now its gone.

Im back to being cheerful and happy and still completely greatful.

5w7d

I am 6 weeks tommorow... I hope this lasts atleast 34 more weeks until I hold this baby in my arms. I always said I wouldnt have an only child but it is looking like it. I just want a healthy baby. And hapiness instead of sadness from then on.

2 days ago I had a bleeding scare and found out we lost a twin and now we are just hoping this baby stay in there and grows strong. I stopped bleeding by that night. I havent since then. I have been mostly resting on the couch.

The most reasuring thing right now is the newest pregger symptom ALL DAY SICKNESS.

I will welcome it and hope it means my baby is growing and getting stronger and well rooted in there. I love the baby already and just want to hold it in my arms.

Deep breaths

So I got blood take waiting on those results. I had an ultrasound and saw the most beautiful gestational sac ever, with a little bitty fetus. Too early to really see even that def too early to see a heartbeat. And below that sac is either a vanishing twin or a subcutanious bleed. I will most likely bleed more over the next few days as that resolves itself. But I am letting myself relax and have faith in this little baby. Baby will make it to my arms. I have to believe or I will go insane. I do feel relieved to have seen all the right things at all the right sizes. I also believe strongly that this was a twin. For some reason I had all the inclinations that I was having twins. One of my sensative friends had two dreams of these twins. So it is very sad somewhere deep inside to have another loss. But I will honor those feelings once I have this babe in my arms because for now it is more important to be strong and healthy for this baby.

God please let this resolve itself quickly so baby can keep growing and we can see heartbeat wednesday.

Please God dont let me lose these babies

I just started bleeding with clots, perios like flow. I am waiting for a call back from the doctor they are trying to get me an ultrasound and bloodwork. I am freaking out. This cannot be happening. These need to be my forever babies. I cannot believe this.

ZZZzzzz

I have been going to bed by 8 sometimes earlier, napping during the day if I have time, and I am still ready to go to sleep right now... ZZZzzz by 8 every night. OMG I bet there is two in there...any guesses people ???

5 wk 3 days

Feeling good. Less spotting then before. I think it has a lot to do with me being way to crazy at work last week. This week has been more relaxed this week and has felt a lot better.

Symptoms:
Extreme exauhstion. hunger constant. No morning sickness but definately a few low blood sugar moments. Baby brain IS REAL, I have mixed up words constantly and forgotten usual things i would def remember. My back hurts a lot quicker after doing a lot of bending. OH and elatedness!!! haha I know its not a word but after seeing my last numbers I am just relaxing in the fact that I AM pregnant and enjoying it completely.

I cant wait for JUNE 1st it is my ultrasound to see if my twins stuck! Also my little sisters graduation and I am so excited for that too!

I am following everyone still just trying to get to everyones blogs to keep up so I am sorry if im not commenting like i used to! Thanks for sticking with me. Praying for your BFPs.

Officially 5 weeks Pregnant

beta #4 : 2479 last blood work results before the ultrasound

Still more than doubling. I should be over the moon...but the progesterone is bugging me, along with the spotting on endometrin It just has my nerves in a funk. I am trying to trust my body...but it has let me down with pregnancy before. And has let me down in general for the past 3 years. I am eating healthy...MINUS the cotton candy I had earlier today awaiting results...ahem.

And the past 7 days have been nutso work wise but I am resting this week as much as possible.

PLEASE stay tight babies. Momma loves you so much already. Cant wait to see you on the big screen next week <3