Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Dream

I just lost my fourth pregnancy 37 days ago. It was a surprise after a 200 day streak without a period. It ended within a few days of finding out. Since then I have been eating strict paleo for 3 weeks now. I have been taking a cross fit class on Saturdays and working out in between. I have lost twelve pounds and on day 37 of my cycle today I started my period. So I would say things are looking up.

I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in August to check my levels and address the Recurrent Pregnancy Loss.

I had a dream three nights ago that I was in labor and long story short I was standing as the baby was crowning. Jason chickened out when the midwife mentioned catching the baby so I reached down and as the baby came out I grabbed under his armpits and pulled this perfect vernix covered chubby full term boy from my body and cradled him. I looked into his big round eyes and said "oh Miles, I love you".

It felt more like a promise than a dream... Like I was meeting my baby for the first time. I don't know if it was about a future baby or the baby I lost. But I am excited to find out.