I told my family...well half

We went to my moms house yesterday for Memorial day. We had a great bbq. My bestie was there so that's always fun. I asked her to take a photo of the fam damily and she got us all together then said everyone say...Kate is pregnant. I am the only one who said it and NOBODY reacted for a good 30 seconds they just stood there. Until my sister G said That is NOT a funny joke. Is she joking? and my mom started crying and everyone hugged us. But it was actually kind of akward. LOL (my mom thinks that means lots of laughs hehe)

It wasn't the magical moment I thought it would be. IF robbed me of that Baby loss robbed me of that. I am not lettin g myself think it outloud or even in my head but yesterday proved to me that I am still extremely nervous/ doubtful. I hate to even write it. I have stayed so positive. I am trying to still stay that way. Had to let the negative out so It doesnt consume me. Now its gone.

Im back to being cheerful and happy and still completely greatful.