I'm Back

I am starting back up with my bloging. I have missed this outlet and now I have family in FLORIDA to keep in the know with our lives. This is how I am going to do it. Jack had pneumonia and bronchialitis last week. We were admitted for 2 days and it took 7 years off my life to see him be put through that poing and prodding. IVs and Deep suction are his enemy. I never want to see or hear him cry and shake like that again. Now we are home and he is doing much better. My little preemie does hold on to the upper respatory stuff a bit longer than normal. So he sounds junky still but he is feeling himself, Laughing and being a goofus. Jason and I are in a good groove with parenting now. I recently started to make some "me" time to workout when he gets home. And he makes his gym time in the morning. I think the biggest thing that has bothered me is when he gets home from work he does domething immediately for him. Whether it be shower, wash a vehicle, grab a snack or what not. I am always like ok thanks for checking in with me and Jack and seeing if he needs you or I need a break... And I DO need a break haha. But after talking to my PCP yesterday she had a completely new view on it. The men, dads, need an outlet and once they have done that thing they need to do they are good to help out. If we just let it happen then appreciate them jumping in after they stay happy and helpful and if we jump on them for their thing they do then they dont want to help. I am going to try to live by this for a while and see if this makes a difference because as she reminded me as husband and wife, mom and dad, we both feel like out "list" is much longer than the others when it comes to the things we do. It is all perspective. Jack is almost 9 months old. 2 weeks ago.....during shark week.... he started cutting his first tooth!! My little hammerhead :) But now he has his front two bottom teeth in a little sliver, they aren't fully up yet. SO EXCITING. School starts up again tomorrow so back into the swing of things with daycare. Summer is fun and crazy and tiring haha but now that school is starting up I will be able to focus on a project/lesson for my little ones during the day. I am very excited for this. Alright I know it is all over the place but... it is out of my head now ! Yay.

Its gone...

I think maybe i'm just realizing I am not pregnant. The hopes for that baby I was carrying are gone. Some days, most days, I wish I could float up to heaven and hold my angel babies. Meet them see them and smell them. Just to have a memory of who they are. I hate this. I cannot wait to get tested and get results to find out what we can do next time... if God lets us have a next time. I want to be pregnant again.

Progestrone Battle

On Friday the 27th my numbers only rose from 103 to 114.... Devistating. I had them check my progestrone... 3.0 I NEED SUPPLEMENTS!!!! My dr said to call an OB that they would need to advise me considering my history. The OB at the first hospital said in order to be prescribed prometrium I would need to have 3 miscairages and I only have suffered 2... I wanted to kill someone. I am sorry, let me get this straight. I am telling you my history and nessesity for my baby to grow needing progestrone supps and your telling me it has to die to get them?!?! I called another hospital, Jack's hospital further from home and asked for the same thing. They remembered my name were very timely ( bad hospital tok 5 hours to get back to me, they got back within the hour) and they said they didnt want to until next week because it is trending like an eptopic and they dont want to mask an eptopic. I said ok numbers again monday then supps. I had a nagging feeling inside though that I needed these on board ASAP. I went to the ER at 730pm complaining of the left sided cramping I had...exagerating a bit. And they did an US 5 hours later and ruled out eptopic at this point. I called forst thing saturday morning to the good hospital and on call widwife sent in the prescription right away. I took two vaginal supps yesterday and one a night from now on... we will see. I don't know if things will work out but ive seen a lot of stories which they do. I have faith and hope. I want this baby so badly.

3rd miscairrage

We lost the baby. I brought the tiisue I passed to the hospital for testing and will be following up our third miscairrage with lots of different testings. I hope this loss results in answers and the hope for a succesful future pregnancy.