I feel as though all us IFers come to this point either after continual disapointment or after a loss. I am sitting here in a valley when i look back i see all the massive mountains DH and I have climbed and how far the fall was, I feel how much pain that fall caused, but remember so vividly the amazing flipping feeling all the way down. And when I look ahead all i see for miles is more mountains... huge mountains. What I am trying to decide is whether I feel like they are too large to try to climb or if the fall i risk is too long a fall. Or is it a challenge I want to take on and accomplish?? There is such conflict within me now. Am I pushing the envelope on something I shouldnt...forcing the subject so to speak?? Did i have an "abnormal" non viable pregnancy because i am trying to make something happen that isnt ready to happen or isnt meant to happen?
And so the question is ..To break or not to break?
We are definately breaking til January...But i wonder if i work really hard against the PCOS and lose weight if my body might get regulated and pregnant on our own....Or waiting that year or two would be a bad idea because meds might get me pregnant again before that? Uggghhhh and do i want to live everyday with the meds drama til then??? Im so confused.