Monday morning woes

Okay it is Monday. I felt like today would never come. Part of me wished it wouldn't. I have been on progestrone for 2 days and need to have higher doubled numbers today. I took a test saturday morning, sunday mornings was def darker. I felt great about that. Then this morning it looked lighter. I am still having light cramping/ soreness. I am now completely consumed and going crazy. I go to get my blood drawn again at 9:30am. I have been praying every second since the positive test. There have been two many weird signs for this not to work out...I will be devistated.

HCG Quant 2

Wednesday July 25th: I went to the Dr again got blood drawn heard back at noon... quant was 103... after 48hours. Heart dropped into stomach. I hate this. This sucks. She said it may be just too early 1-3 weeks along to be able to see doubling. but I dont know if I buy that. I have to go in again Friday to see numbers... I will die before then. Has anyone had this issue and seen a healthy term prengnacy come from it? (((1 hour later))) Okay I was just talked down off a ledge by the best nurse and friend ever. She reassured me I know my body better than anyone and I think I implanted fridayish. And if that is the case I am 1 week pregnant in which case my numbers are great and wouldn't be doubling yet. So I will see them again Friday and pray until then. I need an icecream...LOL

HCG quant 1

Monday July 23: I went to my Primary's office and got blood drawn... It took them all day to call me back. They finally did and said quant is 83. They think I am possibly 4 weeks along. They want me to go in for repeat quant Wednesday. I feel good about this number because I feel like the dizziness was implantation Friday and so it is low but probably because I JUST got pregnant. I allowed myself to have a conversation with my husband about where the baby would go... I don't want to know the sex... what Dr what hospital?? Ugghh now I feel Jinxy.

YOUR KIDDING?!?!?!

I woke up Friday dizzy... And thought to myself I've only ever woken up dizzy when I have been pregnant. I put the thought out of my mind. How could that be?! We tried for 3 years and on treatments and accomplished two pregnancies one we lost and the other we lost a twin. Now all of a sudden I am just pregnant out of nowhere??? I can't be excited ...if I get excited I will lose the baby... I shouldn't even call it a baby yet... sh*t I am already attached to my little fuzzy walnut baby in there. I tested in the afternoon faint faint positive. I woke up Saturday morning and peed in a cup then snuck out "to the bank" (cough dollar tree) and tested in their parking lot LOL. Faint positive. Stopped at hannaford got expensive test... Brighter positive then dollar tree. I get home and grab my beautiful son out of my husbands arms as he asks me where I have been. I say we have a secret and we are not sure we want to share it... He says what? I say Jack is going to be a big brother!! He and I are both in shock that we concieved naturally and scared at the same time that it won't last. I have not found out a specific reason for my losses or preterm labor so there is no precautions I can take... I am helpless.

Big Milestones

So it was my BFF's b-day celebration Saturday night and that means Jack's first overnight at Grammy's house. Dropping him off was harder than I thought. It made me sad... another milestone that means the time is flying by and he is getting so big. He smiles at me now but not on command and not all the time. he is starting to gain more head control but still not a ton. He will be 11 weeks old on Thursday. OMG where has the time gone??

He has a cold with a sad little cough now. So I was a bit nervous to leave him even though he is back to acting like himself. I was the most sad or nervous that he would get all bottle feedings of BM and it was like 5 feedings...where he only ever gets one bottle a day. He did end up having a great time but he didn't take the last two feeding fully and I know it is because he missed the breast feedings.

In the end he had a good time and we did too. It was a very needed night out and full night's sleep. Today the big milestone was his first day napping in his crib. He slept so well and I got so much done!!

Surprised

If one thing has surprised me the most by the things people (family and friends) have said or felt it would be about breast feeding.

I have found that it makes most people uncomfortable. That surprises me. Even my husband is (against it) uncomfortable with it in public. Everyone thinks it's great in the privacy of my home but when it comes to visiting people or going out in public that's poo pooed.

Back in the day this is how everyone fed their babies. If they didn't breast feed their baby starved. This is what our bodies are made specifically for.

When did this become so taboo???

Update (MAC)

THANK YOU MAC for the response on the Nosefrida snot sucker nasal aspirator. I ordered it with 2 day shipping so stay posted on how it works for us. I have high hopes. I was using the bulb syringe but it doesn't work and takes a long time to get stuff out. HE HATES IT.


We are still sick and exhausted over here. But I swear in the midst of all the yuck he has changed so much. He sucked his thumb yesterday for the first time and has continued to do it today. He is HUGE to me. He looks like he wants to start talking so bad. I want him to start interacting so I can get to see that little personality shine... if he is anything like daddy he will be one funny little guy.

I have a friend who is going on month 8 of trying and is super discouraged that it isn't happening. I can relate to everything she is saying and I am trying to be there for her as much as possible. It brakes my heart to see her sad. I know how prayers can work so can we all rally and Please send prayers for her baby to come to her. xoxo