Worship

I am surrounding myself with positivity, worship songs and prayer today as I prepare to see my baby for the first time tomorrow at 1230.  If you pray, say a prayer that there is strong healthy growth and heartbeat. If you don't pray send good vibes or light a candle or think positive thoughts for us.

I keep picturing the heartbeat. I will think this into reality.

6 weeks 4 days Blessed

My second beta was 375 after 48 hours. That more than doubled. My midwife was happy with that and together we decided to stop blood work there. I became a ball of stress between draws and didn't want that for my body with the baby being in there. I am trying to pray often and visualize progress and healthy growth. My breasts are very sore all the time, I am very tired all the time, and I have had a few nauseous moments. I am taking those all as really good signs. I have had some growing pains and some achiness but no cramps or spotting.

The next step in my process is an ultrasound that they won't do until 8 weeks so 2 weeks to go. I am really anxious for that day to get here. I am feeling like everything is going well, but there of course is some second guessing or nervousness after IF and recurrent pregnancy loss.  I would be absolutely devastated if in 2 weeks my ultrasound does not show a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat.

I wonder if any of you out there got the growth bloating abdominal discomfort with pants the second time around? I feel like this didn't happen until 12 weeks or so with Jack but I am already slipping into leggings and my preggo pants this time at 6 weeks.

I am a little worried about where I am at with my weight right now. I want to do my 21 day fix workouts but I am paranoid that I will cause a miscarriage. I am trying to eat healthy and failing at times. I am trying to get all my water in and mostly succeeding.

Nursing school is full tilt right now so that is a nice distraction and making the weeks fly. I will try to keep updating as often as possible.


All I can picture is the baby from my dream last year...Is this Miles? Check out my blog post from 7/14.

 I can see a difference.

Digital

I have been pregnant three times since Jack was born in 2011. They were natural conceptions and the last two ended in early miscarriage. Now we know we need progesterone suppositories right away to help sustain pregnancy. The scary thing is, I have not carried a pregnancy to term ever. Jack's water broke at 30 weeks and every other pregnancy has ended before 8 weeks. I am unsure if it is just needed progesterone or if their are other deficiencies that put my babies at risk.

 As soon as I get good hcg numbers back I will make a high risk appointment to see if their is anything I can do to stay pregnant to term. I am avoiding caffeine, eating as healthy as possible, getting lots of water in every day and napping when I need to. That being said I am a mom of a three and a half year old and in school full time for nursing. I am slacking on my studies this weekend out of sheer distraction and exhaustion, which seems to be my only symptom so far. Not being nauseous or having sore boobs makes me nervous. I am trying to trust and believe in my body and God's hand in my life. 

The milestone of the day was getting a positive digital test. I took a cheapie test Friday and

it was positive. I naturally (haha) went out to get another stick to pee on...digital test and it was negative. I comforted myself with the fact that the cheapie reads 25mui and the digital reads 50mui.  Saturday the cheapie test was darker yay!!!!!!! Today I took the other digital and it was....positive!!!!!!! I am finding comfort that my levels must have doubled in 24 hr for it to now be positive. I get blood drawn tomorrow and Thursday to watch levels. 

I am so excited at the thought that my son may actually have a sibling to grow up alongside. I am so happy I may be able to experience this all over again. I am excited for birth and baby kicks and breastfeeding and newborn noises and smells. All of this excitement makes me so anxious and nervous to lose the baby. I am trying to be zen with those feelings and not let stress sit in my body. let the thoughts come and then pass. 

Pregnant

I did the 21 day fix in April. I lost ten pounds and lots of inches. I had been on Birth control for a few months. I was accepted into the nursing program at my school and getting ready to start clinical this spring. I haven't been as dedicated this past month and I missed the first pills of my bc pack so I didn't take it. I took a test this morning and I am pregnant.

I cannot believe after years of trying and 4 miscarriages and a premature birth I would get pregnant from missing a few pills. Ironic I suppose. It just proves that God's timing is not my own. That being said I am nothing but grateful.....and terrified.

I started my progesterone today. I am hoping to get two HCG quants next week. As long as those are normal I want to then just be trusting and not do anymore. Just the normal dating ultrasound and biophysical profile.

I pray I make it that far.