11 weeks

I am 11 weeks 3 days. Everything is still going well,  "normal". I listen on my home doppler and get 167-180 heart rate. The nausea has subsided for the most part thank goodness. I swear i feel movements...I probably just have gas....lol.  I have an ultrasound next Friday. I am really looking forward to that.

Worship

I am surrounding myself with positivity, worship songs and prayer today as I prepare to see my baby for the first time tomorrow at 1230.  If you pray, say a prayer that there is strong healthy growth and heartbeat. If you don't pray send good vibes or light a candle or think positive thoughts for us.

I keep picturing the heartbeat. I will think this into reality.

Anxiety

For the most part I have been doing so good controlling myself to be positive in thoughts and speech. This Monday however, I had my first ever anxiety attack. I couldn't catch my breath. I busted out the maternity clothes last weekend and although we haven't told my son the news yet he has been asking for a baby sister all weekend. I think I started feeling this pressure of is this really happening?!? The blood work was three eeks ago and besides symptoms that could be caused by the progesterone I am feeling good. It made me question is there really a baby growing in there? That may sound silly but with my history I am afraid that I am living this life and it will all crash down around me when I see no heartbeat.

That was my fear talking. I have to trust in this baby. I woke up yesterday super nauseous (ask and you shall receive). I also moved up my ultrasound to this Friday. I will be 7wk 2 days.

I need to see my baby with a healthy heartbeat.

6 weeks 4 days Blessed

My second beta was 375 after 48 hours. That more than doubled. My midwife was happy with that and together we decided to stop blood work there. I became a ball of stress between draws and didn't want that for my body with the baby being in there. I am trying to pray often and visualize progress and healthy growth. My breasts are very sore all the time, I am very tired all the time, and I have had a few nauseous moments. I am taking those all as really good signs. I have had some growing pains and some achiness but no cramps or spotting.

The next step in my process is an ultrasound that they won't do until 8 weeks so 2 weeks to go. I am really anxious for that day to get here. I am feeling like everything is going well, but there of course is some second guessing or nervousness after IF and recurrent pregnancy loss.  I would be absolutely devastated if in 2 weeks my ultrasound does not show a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat.

I wonder if any of you out there got the growth bloating abdominal discomfort with pants the second time around? I feel like this didn't happen until 12 weeks or so with Jack but I am already slipping into leggings and my preggo pants this time at 6 weeks.

I am a little worried about where I am at with my weight right now. I want to do my 21 day fix workouts but I am paranoid that I will cause a miscarriage. I am trying to eat healthy and failing at times. I am trying to get all my water in and mostly succeeding.

Nursing school is full tilt right now so that is a nice distraction and making the weeks fly. I will try to keep updating as often as possible.


All I can picture is the baby from my dream last year...Is this Miles? Check out my blog post from 7/14.

 I can see a difference.

Pregnant

I did the 21 day fix in April. I lost ten pounds and lots of inches. I had been on Birth control for a few months. I was accepted into the nursing program at my school and getting ready to start clinical this spring. I haven't been as dedicated this past month and I missed the first pills of my bc pack so I didn't take it. I took a test this morning and I am pregnant.

I cannot believe after years of trying and 4 miscarriages and a premature birth I would get pregnant from missing a few pills. Ironic I suppose. It just proves that God's timing is not my own. That being said I am nothing but grateful.....and terrified.

I started my progesterone today. I am hoping to get two HCG quants next week. As long as those are normal I want to then just be trusting and not do anymore. Just the normal dating ultrasound and biophysical profile.

I pray I make it that far.