Hodge Podge

It seems as if my posts are all an "update" or hodge podge of things going on in my life. Sorry for that. I wish I was a better blogger for you all.

I had a shorter cycle last month with my acupuncture treatments 39 days!! Here is to small victories!!
I have been temping and charting with fertility friend again this cycle to see if I can notice other positive cycle changes. With doing that I saw a clear thermal shift into luteal phase this time that went along with CM changes and cramping i had. I am pretty sure I ovulated!!
I had a fabulous acupuncture session yesterday night. This morning I woke up and was SO DIZZY. Vertigo dizzy with nausea.... I am not sure if anyone out there has experienced that after a good acu session? The only other times I have felt this way were every time I have implanted and ended up preggers. But the dates and timing having charted don't make sense with implantation.  The dizziness and nausea are subsiding as long as I keep eating when I wait too long it comes back full force.

School starts next week. I have taken 3 classes. I am organized and ready to go. I am just waiting for a refund check to get my computer. My computer is 10 years old and needs a serious update to have everything I will need for school. So I am replacing it :)

Looking forward to this new (and crazy busy) Chapter in my life.

One Year Anniversary

Tomorrow August 5th ...The one year anniversary of my third miscarriage.  I know in my heart this baby was a girl.  I have not named her but I will ask her her name when I meet her in heaven.

I have not thought a lot about her every day. I see butterflies or dandelions and my babies cross my mind I get a sad feeling and remember my hopes for them here on earth.

When I think about this baby I feel sad that she would have been days apart from my best friend delivering my God Daughter Amelia. They would have been babies together...Crib mates...Best Friends just like her and I. I can see them both running around my yard if I close my eyes. It is rather fitting that I get to spend the day with Amelia tomorrow. It will be cathartic to hold her when my arms are aching for the baby I lost.

I am releasing balloons with a message on it for her tomorrow night. Sending up my love into heaven. Hoping my words find their way to my baby's heart.

Will they like me??

Hello out there Blogosphere!!!
I have been MIA for quite a while. I want to update everyone on the goings on in my life in case anyone is still reading.

I am still exercising, although some weeks not as much as I should.  I am trying to eat as clean as possible and feed my family as clean as possible. Tonight I made "Overnight Oatmeal" and will be trying it out tomorrow morning. I will be sure to let you know how it is. And if I love it I will post pictures and the recipe!  I kind of got off the C25K schedule and started just run/jog/walking which I am loving. I just bought a watch that counts calories burned, steps, HR and all that good stuff to hopefully keep me better accountable for my intake and output. I am setting fitness goals instead of weight goals now. I am hoping to avoid the discouragement I feel when I don't hit a certain number. PCOS is hard to overcome but I believe I can do it.
I am starting acupuncture on Tuesday to try and give me relaxation, and reverse my symptoms and regulate a cycle.  I will post how that goes.

I am loving mommy life. I am praying for patience every day with my beautiful gift of a toddler. Because he is a TODDLER! haha He climbs the walls but I just love him to pieces!  am a daycare provider and just attended a birthday party for one of my kiddos I have had since infancy and she turned three!!! It made me feel old and was emotional for me. I truly love what I do. I have always felt a calling toward children in my life in different capacities. Recently I have felt a very strong calling to become a midwife. So folks....I applied to nursing school. I am hoping to be accepted and begin school this fall. I want to get my RN then go to midwifery college and become a CNM. EEEK! I forgot how insecure you feel applying to college waiting to be accepted or rejected. Say a prayer for me that I would get into school to fulfill the calling I feel God has put on my heart if you would.

I hope all of you are well out there. I am still lurking on so many of your pages and will be starting to actively comment again soon I am starting to carve out some ME time and it feels refreshing.

C25K Week2 Day2 Stroller Eddition

I had the first Stroller Strut 2013 after my daycare day yesterday. And I thought if I am going to get out there and walk I might as well try my hand at doing C25K and running with my son in his stroller. And what I found is that as much as I love the ladies and kiddos who accompanied me and there lovely distraction from the exercise at hand; I HATE RUNNING WITH A STROLLER.

Because I am new at the running thing I have to focus quite a bit on my posture while running still. I have to make an effort to keep my shoulders and neck relaxed, to not look at the ground directly in front of me, keep my back tall and straight.  I lean forward with my (regular not jogging) stroller so my lower back is sore today. I must have had a much heavier step because I have shin splints and my calves were SO SORE during and after the run and this morning. Has anyone else noticed bruising on their calves (back of leg) ??

 Also  when cars went by I couldn't hear the cue of the podcast because I was playing it out loud for all of us to hear.  I don't think I am enough in my groove yet to run with people and still stay focused.  Overall I feel like it wasn't my best run. Oh and I did it two days in a row...and I think I really do need that day in between still.

C25K Week 2 Day 1

I woke up at 5am to go for my run. I stretched well and took a few sips of water but no food.
I headed out into the cool morning for my 5 minute warm up. The first few 90 second run segments were fine. I could tell in my body that they were longer but I wasn't winded or tired. But I do find that I have less pep in my step early mornings and My legs are tighter and heavier. When I run at night or mid day I have more pep looser legs and lighter legs. But unless it is the weekend I don't have the option to run in the middle of the day and during the week I am too tired and bail easier at night. So for now until I SUPER look forward to running I will stick with the morning. My right foot on the outside right side kills after my runs. sometimes the left too. I don't know what it is.  The rest of the run went well the last one I was dragging a bit, moving slower but besides that it was good.

Honesty

I am one of many people affected by PCOS. I am one of many women who struggle with infertility. I am one  half of too many marriages that have been saddened by losing their babies at any point in pregnancy.

And after all that and with all that said I blame my weight gain on all of that. PCOS is my GO TO excuse. And it very well may have been the reason for the initial gain. Now though I am educated on my condition and its failures and loopholes. I have yoyo dieted for a long time but not wrapped my brain or fully committed to a lifestyle change for health. I am now on board fully and intentionally. I am down 14 pounds and my confidence is growing. My body is changing. I started couch to 5k. I am signing up for a color me rad 5k in August. I have completed week one. Day one was hard. I was tired and out of breath. Day two my legs felt heavy but I wasn't out of breath. Day three I felt amazing. I was running for one of the sixty second intervals and I was Side Walk Cock Blocked by an older lady...ran out of her drive and right in my path and said GREAT DAY HUH? and i took an ear bud out to not be rude ( which apparently she didn't know) and she said its ok we wont melt right?! (it was sprinkling) and then loudly said OH WAIT WE WANT TO!! haha
Cue me running off! Have a good day .....in my dust....

And before I knew it I was thinking I have been running a while... and I hear the prompt on my podcast ( runningintohealth) say you may start your next 60 second run. So I kept running and I ran for 3.5 min by accident. But I was good. I enjoyed it I probably could have kept going. I am sticking to this plan though so I don't injure myself or get shin splints.

I am loving being honest with myself. And for some reason Running feels so honest.

I chose to start running because when I would start a new exercise plan or diet in the back of my mind or in my convo with people I would joke about not being a runner or never running I can't run. not even if someone is chasing me. And I needed to stop the negative self talk. The boundaries and blocks I put in my head are put in you not just mentally but also physically.

I can do anything I put my mind to. I can be a mom. I can live on for the babies I have lost and will see again some day. I can lose this weight. I can overcome the symptoms. I can RUN.

I am Woman, Christ follower, Wife, Mother, Daughter and Friend. I am me. And that is Good enough yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Beachbody

I have been doing well with the exersize and eating healthy. Down 5 lbs. :) I just ordered Turbo Jam by Beachbody and have a personal coach. Time to rev up the workouts!! I am pumped!

Jack is very mobile now almost running around the house. He is trying to make conversation but has about four words in his vocab :) He wants to kiss everyone all the time. He is so smart and responds at appropriate times with jabber talk lol.

Family stuff and work stuff is keeping me very busy lately. We celebrated my nieces 3rd bday last night and I CANT believe she is three. Today we have a family meeting for a sibling who needs some extra family support and then celebrate another siblings bday. It will be a very busy weekend and it is almost over. I hate that two days is never enough time to unwind. But at church this morning I will pause and absorb and take in all God has to tell me. I will praise him and feel rested. Then I can go on with my crazy day!