I can't believe how blessed I am to still be carrying this baby. He is all cuddled up inside with no complaints right now and I am beginning to get pretty sore in my midsection which they are watching carefully for infection. But we are here, still healthy, still pregnant. MIRACLE.
My husband is what I am most thankful for. Without him my life would hold less sparkle. He is my rock through all our trying times and this one is no exception. Even though I know how scared he is, he rarely shows it. Our son will have such an amazing role model in him.
Ou friends and family who have stood by us helping with everything you don't imagine you will need that you indeed do. They are such a phenomenal support team. We need them so much.
I am also reminded today all this could change any minute. He could become distressed, i could become infected, or i could merely start laboring again... and then he will be separated from me. Don't get me wrong all babies are eventually separated from our bodies but they usually are put to our chest. When we are separated he is whisked away directly he won't be held up and shown to me just taken into someone else's care. I know that is where I want my preemie baby to be... I just am sad that I can't do for him what he will need done. I will have to rely on strangers to do those things. And depending on my state I may not even get to see him for days. Depending on his state I may not be able to touch him for days... But regardless of all those sad things i am feeling grateful today to still be attached to my baby boy.
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