Beta tomorrow!

What started out as these Follicles... And (little army men added) turned into these beautious little embinos...

Has now produced this beauty...My first ever digital test "pregnant" reading!!! I have beta tommorow and am hoping for an off the charts number so as to put my fears to bed for the most part. After a misscaraige this stage in pregnancy is not over the moon...I know how quickly it can be ripped away. And am praying these babies stick. I will update ASAP tommorow.

Baby Hopes is not having as good an outcome. My heart goes out to her and every other BFN this cycle. Love you ladies. Keep your chin up. Ill keep praying for your BFPs!

2dp3dt

Symptoms_


Hot flashes like a 60 year old menopausal woman


Gassy is a nice word to describe it.


AF Cramping


Around 6pm i had a sharp quick pain in my lower right abdomen and haven't felt any pain since


Constant need to check every one's blogs. Nothing new...5 min later go check again ect.


Maybe my mind is just trying too hard to occupy itself.


OH and these progesterone suppositories are disgusting oozing out all day EWW.








Lets just be honest I POAS this morning to make sure Ovadrel was out of my system.


I ADMIT IT OKAY





I am promising myself no peeing on a stick until at least next weekend.





My 10th anniversary is the 12th.


My mom brought me a mothers day present yesterday it is a recordable "mommy and Me" book and some coconut lime verbena cream from B&B works. It was so sweet. She now knows about the IVF and that I had the transfer. I told her it could be months until we know or say anything if we do know. She doesn't know any better so she is going with it. I am so grateful for my mom. I was so sad thinking mothers day I am a mom in my heart but my baby is in heaven, and now I am thinking how lucky am I that even if just for a short while my babies are in my tummy on Mother's Day.





I want to know the outcome now. So I can stop torturing myself with hope if it isn't to be for me. Or so I can be reassured if it will work out. I know God is good and in his time I will know, but my earthly self cant stand it.





I am having twinges in my lower right abdomen as I type that sentence I will take that as a good sign.





Praying so hard for my cycle buddy Baby Hopes. I am praying those babes are snuggling in as she rests and keeps them safe and cozy. Let this be her time, let this Mothers Day bring her the joy she longs for.


**********
After working all night I am feeling quite crampy and like I am overdoing it as much as I try not to my body is telling me I need to be lying down and doing nothing. So frustrating because I NEED to work...But making babies is more important to me. So I have covered my Monday shift and putting myself on moderated bed rest/ house arrest for the next 3 days. I NEED these babies to stick more than anything else right now.

Stim night 3!

I can tell I am responding already. I am very twingee in the ovarian region. And I can feel my ovaries and ute. I dont know how else to describe it it is uncomfortable to feel an organ, it is sensative and i am already bloating so my jeans are tight.





I have a b/w and u/s visit Thursday so we will see!!!!





I recieved 2 blog awards and am very excited and grateful and WILL post on them tommorow and hand them back out I PROMISE!!!





Quick shout out to my cycle bud Baby Hopes @ http://chasingourstork.blogspot.com/ if you feel compelled shoot her a positive vibe and or say a little prayer her cycle to bring a baby to fill her arms and heart!!

1st night of stims!

One down, probably 5-8 more to go. Mixing all the meds (menopur, lupron, follistim) is a pain and I felt like I was doing it wrong even though I know I wasn't.
My BFF had us over for a little birthday celebration for the DH. So sweet of her to do that for him, and for getting icecream cake for the IFers cycle LOL.

I had DH give me the first injection because the needles like twice the size as the one I have been using. It BURNS...it felt weird like there was sooo much med and it was pushing my insides out of the way to dig in. And probly TMI but I had wiked gas pain tonight (which I get during treatments) and it hurts so much like my ute and ovaries are alredy a bit swollen and sensative and the gas pushes against them and it really hurts bad.

So glad to have day one out of the way and be stimming finally. Now appointments until our first monitoring thursday. I will be usuing my visualization techniques I used when I got pregnant with Kayden. Tonight I will just picture my meds making there wat to me lady bits.

Baby Hopes had her first stims today too!!! So glad to have a cycle buddy!!!
Pray with us that this cycle gives us our BFP!!!!!

Cycle started

Okay so I officially started my first ever IVF cycle yesterday night!! Woohooo! Lupron...I was nervous like oh Shit injections again!?!? But that Lupron needle is SOOOO tiny I barely felt it go in. And the Lupron didnt burn at all. That was exciting! I did learn a trick at my injection lesson to help with the burn though...After wiping with alcahol wipe wait a minute or two until your skin isnt shiny anymore then stick. Most of the reason is because the alcahol goes in too if you dont wait for it to dry. So thats the positive!! A little negative...having some issues with feeling like I always have been that person that goes above and beyond for everyone, always doing whatever to make it easier for other people, just because that is who I am its just my personality. And after we lost Kayden we decided to start focusing on us and reserving all that extra energy that went to everyone else for eachother. It has made our relationship much stronger with eachother, but we don't see anyone anymore. so I am left feeling like we aren't that important to the people who are so important to us. I know everyone has their own lives and schedules but it does make me sad that even though we went out of our way to go see poeple when it was easier for them now that we have been centered at home no one is going out of their way to see us. (I say no one but i do have a few people i am very close with in my life that I do see regularly).... Am I being a hormonal mess, bitter infertile, or what?!?! Also the thought does occur, and I know one of my bloggy buddies spoke on this earlier in the month, I am not part of the "I am a mom" crowd right now and am feeling a little ignored by those of my family and friends who are...WHEN I do become part of their club am I automatically going to hear from and see these people all the time because I turned MOMMY?? And will that be more hurtful then just not be included? Well vent over. Back to the positive fresh new start that this IVF cycle will hopefully bring. Thinking about my cycle buddy Baby Hopes every step of the way! And all of the other lovely ladies on their way to BFPs!!!