Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Cycle started

Okay so I officially started my first ever IVF cycle yesterday night!! Woohooo! Lupron...I was nervous like oh Shit injections again!?!? But that Lupron needle is SOOOO tiny I barely felt it go in. And the Lupron didnt burn at all. That was exciting! I did learn a trick at my injection lesson to help with the burn though...After wiping with alcahol wipe wait a minute or two until your skin isnt shiny anymore then stick. Most of the reason is because the alcahol goes in too if you dont wait for it to dry. So thats the positive!! A little negative...having some issues with feeling like I always have been that person that goes above and beyond for everyone, always doing whatever to make it easier for other people, just because that is who I am its just my personality. And after we lost Kayden we decided to start focusing on us and reserving all that extra energy that went to everyone else for eachother. It has made our relationship much stronger with eachother, but we don't see anyone anymore. so I am left feeling like we aren't that important to the people who are so important to us. I know everyone has their own lives and schedules but it does make me sad that even though we went out of our way to go see poeple when it was easier for them now that we have been centered at home no one is going out of their way to see us. (I say no one but i do have a few people i am very close with in my life that I do see regularly).... Am I being a hormonal mess, bitter infertile, or what?!?! Also the thought does occur, and I know one of my bloggy buddies spoke on this earlier in the month, I am not part of the "I am a mom" crowd right now and am feeling a little ignored by those of my family and friends who are...WHEN I do become part of their club am I automatically going to hear from and see these people all the time because I turned MOMMY?? And will that be more hurtful then just not be included? Well vent over. Back to the positive fresh new start that this IVF cycle will hopefully bring. Thinking about my cycle buddy Baby Hopes every step of the way! And all of the other lovely ladies on their way to BFPs!!!


  1. hoping this IVF is a success! and yes, it is really disappointing when your mom "friends" all of a sudden include you when you get pregnant. very disappointing.

  2. Congratulations!!! Officially under way!!! I'm so excited to be cycling together with you on our first IVFs!!! I'm so sorry that you're not getting all of the support and love that you so very much need... it's hard to be the one to support with such love and dedication, but feel abandoned when you need others the most. Sending you lots of hugs...

    What a woman you are for being so courageous with the needles. I had no idea that waiting a bit until the area dried could help... thanks for the tip!!! With you all the way!!!

  3. Woohoo, you are on your way now! Venting here is totally allowed:] It stinks to feel excluded from those who have children but it happens all the time whether they mean to exclude us or not. I am excited for you, Baby Hopes and others on the IVF journey, sounds like you are off to a smooth start with the meds. Good Luck!

  4. I know the feeling all to well. We have several friends that we no longer consider friends because they just flat out could not support us the way we needed to be supported (not trying to be selfish, but you know what I mean). Thankfully, we also many new friends that more than make up for the old.

    I wish you the best of luck with this first (last!) IVF cycle! I'll be joining you shortly.

  5. I am following along with you this cycle… praying for you (by name! ;)) that this is the winner. :) In answer to your (probably hypothetical) question, yes, those “mom crowd” people will try to include you again. It will simultaneously feel nice and like a slap in the face. You’ll always know you don’t *really* belong, but you like it that way. You won't mind being different so much. Because you, out of all people, will know who your true friends are. :)

    Big baby prayers and hopes coming your way!!