Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thank you God
God has sent me so many messages lately. The Kate and Carly tag... through women he has put in my path... through the peace and hope I have found in the upcoming IVF cycle... in the not so coincidental timing of starting treatments again ( when I got pregnant it was a month before our 2 year anniversary and the IVF cycle is a month before our 10 year anni and my EDD) Then In a conversation with one of those women placed into my life by God the other night. I had a realization that Carly ( my husbands childhood friend who passed away when he was 13) who has come to me in medium sessions and who I feel around us, was meant to be up there as our guardian angel. Then I looked at my friend and said to her if I can make any sort of "sense" out of a young woman's passing that had been here a while and had a life and personality and history then how can I NOT see that there must be a reason ( not yet revealed to me) for Kayden to be with God instead of earth with me and DH. And after I told her that, I felt the realization heavy on me. I wanted to go home and sit with that a while, pray about it. And when I turned on the radio on the ride home a new song I have LOVED started playing... And It was the most beautiful and reassuring of the messages and signs God has sent me, It was a flashing light I couldn't ignore. Here are the lyrics... It’s like a storm That cuts a path It’s breaks your will It feels like that You think your lost But your not lost on your own Your not alone I will stand by you I will help you through When you’ve done all you can do If you can’t cope I will dry your eyes I will fight your fight I will hold you tight And I wont let go It hurts my heart To see you cry I know it’s dark This part of life Oh it finds us all And we’re too small To stop the rain Oh but when it rains I will stand by you I will help you through When you’ve done all you can do And you can’t cope I will dry your eyes I will fight your fight I will hold you tight And I wont let you fall Don’t be afraid to fall I’m right here to catch you I wont let you down It wont get you down Your gonna make it Yea I know you can make it Cause I will stand by you I will help you through When you’ve done all you can do And you can’t cope And I will dry your eyes I will fight your fight I will hold you tight And I wont let go Oh I’m gonna hold you And I wont let go Wont let you go No I wont Rascal Flatts – I Won’t Let Go Lyrics I cried like a baby. It was so completely comforting. God is good. I am confident in this IVF cycle...and not in the way that I am completely positive it will work (although I cant lie I feel good about it) but more in the way that I am done trying to see two steps ahead in God's plan and read into things too much but instead just follow his influence and signs in my life. Thank you God.