I was dreading the anual ball drop. I know I was happy to see 2010 go because of all the heartaches it brought. I got multiple BFN's and 1 BFP that ended in losing Kayden. The only baby i have ever carried. Then the depresion that followed, that is. Financial stressers.
Then I knew i was working, (and i have bronchitis and a sinus infection) and am coordinating a huge event for NYE at work all night. I was going to get out early 11pm... but when i called my hubs to tell him...he was at one of our BF's house with people, I just let him know i was tired and not excited for the ball drop, was very down about this year, and honestly Kayden is all i thought about all day.
#1 I dont feel good and want my PJ's
#2 I dont want to be around people and feel like i have to pretend to be happy so i dont bring everyone else down, honestly i knew id be a hott mess at ball drop and wanted to have a good ugly cry.
#3 (here is my bitter IF moment of the day) The friends he was with are my god daughters parents and they are so happy and blessed and celebrating that today, honestly as much as i love them and love being around them always <3 xoxo Den, I was in the opposite mood and couldnt be around that today.
INSTEAD of my DH understanding that he kept saying WHATEVER in a pissy tone. I was like well are you going to stay there til midnight or come be with me. He said he was staying there.
OKAY so i got off the phone and texted him Thanks for the support...IM YOUR WIFE...dont know if you remember?? He said I ruined his night and he apparently went home and to bed.
I texted him nevermind i am staying at work and getting paid to be miserable.
I did just that, I am just getting home, I didnt get a good cry, I feel like he and I will never be on the same page, I feel like he isnt supportive enough, and we are about to start 2011 on a terrible note. WONDER_FUCKING_FUL. uggghhhhhh
Happy fucking new year everyone.