Friday, May 27, 2011

Deep breaths

So I got blood take waiting on those results. I had an ultrasound and saw the most beautiful gestational sac ever, with a little bitty fetus. Too early to really see even that def too early to see a heartbeat. And below that sac is either a vanishing twin or a subcutanious bleed. I will most likely bleed more over the next few days as that resolves itself. But I am letting myself relax and have faith in this little baby. Baby will make it to my arms. I have to believe or I will go insane. I do feel relieved to have seen all the right things at all the right sizes. I also believe strongly that this was a twin. For some reason I had all the inclinations that I was having twins. One of my sensative friends had two dreams of these twins. So it is very sad somewhere deep inside to have another loss. But I will honor those feelings once I have this babe in my arms because for now it is more important to be strong and healthy for this baby.

God please let this resolve itself quickly so baby can keep growing and we can see heartbeat wednesday.

5 comments:

  1. Glad that you saw your baby! Praying that it is resolved quickly and baby continues growing strong!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I try to never say "I know how you feel" to anyone because who really does know how someone is feeling? But as someone who had twins and lost one at about six weeks, I know how *I* felt, and I am praying for your comfort. It was very difficult for me to lose Twin A (“Andie”). This means I also know what it is like to lose one baby and have the other grow healthy and strong. It is a true mix of emotions, but the strongest of all is gratitude. The beautiful life of your other child will honor the one who didn’t make it. You will always, always think about him or her, but the sadness will ease a bit over time as you celebrate the life still growing inside you. ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  3. one of the hardest parts of pregnancy after infertility is trusting God to allow your baby to grow and thrive, according to His plan. praying that your baby will arrive safe in your arms in 8 months :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Praying for you and your baby! Whether just now or earlier on, you did have two, so it is a loss. But I think you are taking the right perspective - being grateful for the one that held tight and turning your focus to giving this little one all of your love, strength, and faith to grow and soon be in your arms!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whew! So happy there is a baby in there!

    Rest up girlie!

    ReplyDelete