Hodge Podge

It seems as if my posts are all an "update" or hodge podge of things going on in my life. Sorry for that. I wish I was a better blogger for you all.

I had a shorter cycle last month with my acupuncture treatments 39 days!! Here is to small victories!!
I have been temping and charting with fertility friend again this cycle to see if I can notice other positive cycle changes. With doing that I saw a clear thermal shift into luteal phase this time that went along with CM changes and cramping i had. I am pretty sure I ovulated!!
I had a fabulous acupuncture session yesterday night. This morning I woke up and was SO DIZZY. Vertigo dizzy with nausea.... I am not sure if anyone out there has experienced that after a good acu session? The only other times I have felt this way were every time I have implanted and ended up preggers. But the dates and timing having charted don't make sense with implantation.  The dizziness and nausea are subsiding as long as I keep eating when I wait too long it comes back full force.

School starts next week. I have taken 3 classes. I am organized and ready to go. I am just waiting for a refund check to get my computer. My computer is 10 years old and needs a serious update to have everything I will need for school. So I am replacing it :)

Looking forward to this new (and crazy busy) Chapter in my life.

One Year Anniversary

Tomorrow August 5th ...The one year anniversary of my third miscarriage.  I know in my heart this baby was a girl.  I have not named her but I will ask her her name when I meet her in heaven.

I have not thought a lot about her every day. I see butterflies or dandelions and my babies cross my mind I get a sad feeling and remember my hopes for them here on earth.

When I think about this baby I feel sad that she would have been days apart from my best friend delivering my God Daughter Amelia. They would have been babies together...Crib mates...Best Friends just like her and I. I can see them both running around my yard if I close my eyes. It is rather fitting that I get to spend the day with Amelia tomorrow. It will be cathartic to hold her when my arms are aching for the baby I lost.

I am releasing balloons with a message on it for her tomorrow night. Sending up my love into heaven. Hoping my words find their way to my baby's heart.

Will they like me??

Hello out there Blogosphere!!!
I have been MIA for quite a while. I want to update everyone on the goings on in my life in case anyone is still reading.

I am still exercising, although some weeks not as much as I should.  I am trying to eat as clean as possible and feed my family as clean as possible. Tonight I made "Overnight Oatmeal" and will be trying it out tomorrow morning. I will be sure to let you know how it is. And if I love it I will post pictures and the recipe!  I kind of got off the C25K schedule and started just run/jog/walking which I am loving. I just bought a watch that counts calories burned, steps, HR and all that good stuff to hopefully keep me better accountable for my intake and output. I am setting fitness goals instead of weight goals now. I am hoping to avoid the discouragement I feel when I don't hit a certain number. PCOS is hard to overcome but I believe I can do it.
I am starting acupuncture on Tuesday to try and give me relaxation, and reverse my symptoms and regulate a cycle.  I will post how that goes.

I am loving mommy life. I am praying for patience every day with my beautiful gift of a toddler. Because he is a TODDLER! haha He climbs the walls but I just love him to pieces!  am a daycare provider and just attended a birthday party for one of my kiddos I have had since infancy and she turned three!!! It made me feel old and was emotional for me. I truly love what I do. I have always felt a calling toward children in my life in different capacities. Recently I have felt a very strong calling to become a midwife. So folks....I applied to nursing school. I am hoping to be accepted and begin school this fall. I want to get my RN then go to midwifery college and become a CNM. EEEK! I forgot how insecure you feel applying to college waiting to be accepted or rejected. Say a prayer for me that I would get into school to fulfill the calling I feel God has put on my heart if you would.

I hope all of you are well out there. I am still lurking on so many of your pages and will be starting to actively comment again soon I am starting to carve out some ME time and it feels refreshing.

C25K Week2 Day2 Stroller Eddition

I had the first Stroller Strut 2013 after my daycare day yesterday. And I thought if I am going to get out there and walk I might as well try my hand at doing C25K and running with my son in his stroller. And what I found is that as much as I love the ladies and kiddos who accompanied me and there lovely distraction from the exercise at hand; I HATE RUNNING WITH A STROLLER.

Because I am new at the running thing I have to focus quite a bit on my posture while running still. I have to make an effort to keep my shoulders and neck relaxed, to not look at the ground directly in front of me, keep my back tall and straight.  I lean forward with my (regular not jogging) stroller so my lower back is sore today. I must have had a much heavier step because I have shin splints and my calves were SO SORE during and after the run and this morning. Has anyone else noticed bruising on their calves (back of leg) ??

 Also  when cars went by I couldn't hear the cue of the podcast because I was playing it out loud for all of us to hear.  I don't think I am enough in my groove yet to run with people and still stay focused.  Overall I feel like it wasn't my best run. Oh and I did it two days in a row...and I think I really do need that day in between still.

C25K Week 2 Day 1

I woke up at 5am to go for my run. I stretched well and took a few sips of water but no food.
I headed out into the cool morning for my 5 minute warm up. The first few 90 second run segments were fine. I could tell in my body that they were longer but I wasn't winded or tired. But I do find that I have less pep in my step early mornings and My legs are tighter and heavier. When I run at night or mid day I have more pep looser legs and lighter legs. But unless it is the weekend I don't have the option to run in the middle of the day and during the week I am too tired and bail easier at night. So for now until I SUPER look forward to running I will stick with the morning. My right foot on the outside right side kills after my runs. sometimes the left too. I don't know what it is.  The rest of the run went well the last one I was dragging a bit, moving slower but besides that it was good.

Honesty

I am one of many people affected by PCOS. I am one of many women who struggle with infertility. I am one  half of too many marriages that have been saddened by losing their babies at any point in pregnancy.

And after all that and with all that said I blame my weight gain on all of that. PCOS is my GO TO excuse. And it very well may have been the reason for the initial gain. Now though I am educated on my condition and its failures and loopholes. I have yoyo dieted for a long time but not wrapped my brain or fully committed to a lifestyle change for health. I am now on board fully and intentionally. I am down 14 pounds and my confidence is growing. My body is changing. I started couch to 5k. I am signing up for a color me rad 5k in August. I have completed week one. Day one was hard. I was tired and out of breath. Day two my legs felt heavy but I wasn't out of breath. Day three I felt amazing. I was running for one of the sixty second intervals and I was Side Walk Cock Blocked by an older lady...ran out of her drive and right in my path and said GREAT DAY HUH? and i took an ear bud out to not be rude ( which apparently she didn't know) and she said its ok we wont melt right?! (it was sprinkling) and then loudly said OH WAIT WE WANT TO!! haha
Cue me running off! Have a good day .....in my dust....

And before I knew it I was thinking I have been running a while... and I hear the prompt on my podcast ( runningintohealth) say you may start your next 60 second run. So I kept running and I ran for 3.5 min by accident. But I was good. I enjoyed it I probably could have kept going. I am sticking to this plan though so I don't injure myself or get shin splints.

I am loving being honest with myself. And for some reason Running feels so honest.

I chose to start running because when I would start a new exercise plan or diet in the back of my mind or in my convo with people I would joke about not being a runner or never running I can't run. not even if someone is chasing me. And I needed to stop the negative self talk. The boundaries and blocks I put in my head are put in you not just mentally but also physically.

I can do anything I put my mind to. I can be a mom. I can live on for the babies I have lost and will see again some day. I can lose this weight. I can overcome the symptoms. I can RUN.

I am Woman, Christ follower, Wife, Mother, Daughter and Friend. I am me. And that is Good enough yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Beachbody

I have been doing well with the exersize and eating healthy. Down 5 lbs. :) I just ordered Turbo Jam by Beachbody and have a personal coach. Time to rev up the workouts!! I am pumped!

Jack is very mobile now almost running around the house. He is trying to make conversation but has about four words in his vocab :) He wants to kiss everyone all the time. He is so smart and responds at appropriate times with jabber talk lol.

Family stuff and work stuff is keeping me very busy lately. We celebrated my nieces 3rd bday last night and I CANT believe she is three. Today we have a family meeting for a sibling who needs some extra family support and then celebrate another siblings bday. It will be a very busy weekend and it is almost over. I hate that two days is never enough time to unwind. But at church this morning I will pause and absorb and take in all God has to tell me. I will praise him and feel rested. Then I can go on with my crazy day!

week one overview

So last week was week one of working out every day. Behne Boot camp started up at my friends house 2 days a week. I was hoping to lose weight but it didn't happen. But I did lose 6inches.  And MORE IMPORTANTLY after 155 days without cycling I got a period!!! So tomorrow I finally can have my saline sonogram to check for any imperfections in my uterine shape or lining that would be causing the RPL.

GOAL THIS WEEK: work out 6 days and stick to meal plan every day.

This week I am jumping on a 30 day meal plan that will keep me accountable. No last minute nap time poor meal decisions.  I saw on last night's biggest loser "you have to want the health changes and the weight loss more than that cup cake. And I know it is true. I haven't wanted it bad enough I DO NOW.

The Jillian Michael's shed and shred DVD is AWESOME.  I will be doing that 6 days a week now.  Along with my yummy juice.

Full Red : TMI Warning

So after a few weeks of eating healthy, juicing, starting to exercise again (This week exercising  every day with two boot camp workouts ), and losing 7 pounds I am pleased to announce that today on day 155 without a period  I AM FULL RED FLOW!!!!!!!

I know this is semi ridiculous to be celebrating but for me it means Health is on it's way and hopefully regular cycles and testing will ensue. I am calling the High risk OB office today to schedule my uterine septum testing for RPL.  I have been waiting 5 MONTHS for this test because I need it to be 5 days after cycle day 1.

I am going to start a FF chart today too just for kicks. I am very excited to see this change in my body and my health. ( My mental health needed this one :) Just ask the hubster)

Big Changes

So I added back in some normal healthier meals and that led to snacks...Sugar is definitely an addiction. So I am cutting back out the processed foods again. Fruits and veggies and fresh juice for snacks and meals and a dinner with the hubs and babe every night that is healthy. I have worked out every day this week and hoping to see weight loss on Monday when I weigh in again.

On another note I am applying to colleges this coming week so I have a 10 year plan for a career that I am being called to and something that will impact others lives in a big way and help me better support my family and my soul. I am going to school to become a Nurse MidWife.

Big changes are upon me. I feel good about them. Determined to have the best self I can. Healthy, changing, expanding, learning, and Happy.

Making God my center has truly changed my life. I know he has big plans for me. I am just along for the ride feeling his call and answering YES!!

Yoga and Kiwi

Alrighty so today I did Yoga first thing followed by a hot shower. Great way to wake up!! Then I enjoyed a fresh fruit and spinach juice, snacked on a banana later in the day. lunch was a food version of my mean green juice a small salad comprised of spinach, lettuce, cucumber, snow peas, and kiwi!! With a fresh squeezed orange drizzle for the dressing.  And a table spoon of peanut butter until I can get to the store for chicken to grill.  I had a mean green juice for an afternoon snack and then for dinner grilled chicken with roasted carrots and sweet potato wedges. yumm. Key is small portions and juice before meal so you are full faster. Lots of water today 72oz+ !!

If there is anything I have learned so far from juicing it is that I feel WAY better/ healthier when doing it. And Fruit was meant to be mixed with vegetables :) They were born for it!!!

Hungry Day 3

Let's start with some baby photo love shall we??

Here is my crazy haired son 

And his big boy hair cut :)

He kisses everything, even gators he is wrastling haha

So as of this morning I have lost 4 lbs. Which is great! But i miss eating and I have had the Low blood sugar feeling for 3 days. My husband is a trooper and has held fast but HATES it. We are going to turn this juice fast into a juice feast!! We are going to still juice 2x a day but add in all those fruits and veggies in food form and some healthy protiens and grains. I don't think I can "diet" anymore but just adapt a healthy eating lifestyle. And for me that does include chewing my food!! haha

I will still be tracking my journey on here as I am still dedicated to losing weight and reversing my PCOS.

I am effective immidiately  actively trying to NOT get pregnant until I am in the peak health I can be. Maybe...Hopefully by this summer or fall I will feel fit enough and be cycling regularly to add to our family.


Jack Update: He took 3 steps yesterday!!!!!!!!! And he is amazing as usual. Saying momma dadda and nononono.  He is now 90th percentile for height and 50ish for weight.  He melts my heart.

He gives kisses (more like licks you) and hugs and high fives on demand! PeekABoo is one of his favorites! He is loving his walker and his doggies <3 nbsp="" p="">
I have a new found love for YOGA!!!!
A Jillian Michaels Dvd I am going to try out and  a dance dvd to try...
I have a new membership to a gym i am excited to try kickboxing, kettlebell, and get back into zumba and continue Yoga!!!

The UGLY truth

Weighed in this morning on DAY 1 of the 60 day Juice fast. The ugly (disgusting) truth is I am 248 lbs.

GULP

I had my husband take before pics that I will eventually share and some more fleshy ones that I will never share. But those are going to be my motivation. When I looked at what the back of me looks like in Le Buff I was like ok now I know where to go when I get a craving!!! One look and I won't be hungry anymore.
Tomorrow I will weigh in and hopefully post my first few juice pics but I am reserving posting the recipes until I get them right.

How am I feeling you ask??
Like ass...headache and it is 7pm and I am exhausted to the point of I am going to bed now. generally feeling crumby. But it will get better I know it!!! I am keeping on the juice fast!

Pre-Juice Organization

Today we did the Pre-Juice Groceries. I think I was actually sweating at every stores check out. I am convinced I won't spend this much every time I go. I think it is just because I don't know exactly what i need for recipes and which ones I will and won't like so I bought just about every fruit or veggie I saw and also focused on ones that help with my PCOS symptoms lowering insulin resistance acne and inflammation.

Here is the Loot ...                                                

And a few photos of my new Juicing area ...My fridge is packed to the brim and I also have a little mini fridge in the basement with 4 or 5 things in it. I am ready to be healthy!! Tomorrow is Day 1!

We are officially starting our 60 day juice fasting cleanse!! My PCOS symptoms are at an all time high right now and I need to do something to heal my body...it looks like after the fast I am looking at a veganish rawish diet as my goal. I have done 2 days of research and am very very excited! At first it started as a way to kickoff the weight loss (which I am hoping it will do) but now it is more of a way to heal my body from the inside out and a bonus is the weight loss. In the  essence of honesty for others this blogging journey may help I will put it all out there...no judgement...please.

Symptoms I would like to reverse...

Acne

Back Pain

Abdominal bloating, pain, and general discomfort

ovarian cysts

Lack of Menses

Hormonal imbalance leading to moodiness and anxiety

Anovulation

Dry skin

Overweight

I am weighing in pre-fast tomorrow and taking photos which I am probably going to keep private which bothers me because when researching this the blogs i got the most from had photos. I am a very visual person and I want to share them for that reason but I know too many people in real life that follow my blog. 

If at the end I look like Barbie I might share them :) haha. 

My goal is to juice 100% because when i am given an inch in a diet i take a mile...of junk food...so to avoid that I am going to try to go 100%. I am a bit worried about the insulin resistance and glucose levels with the fruit juices so I may add seeds for protein or chicken. we will see.

My husband is "going to do it with me as long as he can" So we will see how that goes haha.

I am also excited to share some juice with my Jack man because of the healing properties...and I may try to cook/bake with the pulp for the daycare kiddos for health purposes and to not be so wasteful. 

Things I am concerned about are cravings...and temptation with cooking for the kids all day. I am worried I wont make time for my exerscise I want to do everyday. I am nervous Jason will quit and I won't have that much needed support. 

All of my excitement WAAAYYY outways all the concerns. So heeerreee weee gooooo!!!!

To Juice or not to Juice?!

I am contemplating going on a 60 day juicing cleanse...what do you think?? Has anyone done it?

PCOS can suck it!!!!!

So here goes day 97 of this cycle without ovulation or a period obviously. I am holding on to the end of a very thin rope by my fingertips and I am about to lose it. Emotionally I am feeling weak. I am extra tired and less patient with my husband than usual. Other people's emotions are effecting me more these days maybe because I am hyper sensitive right now. I am a raging bull. Physically I am bloated, crampy, achy and when ever I have a grumblings down there it creates some serious sharp abdominal pain! It feels mostly like I am PMSing constantly.

I would like a period to happen...like yesterday.

Happy New Year!!

My husband and myself spent the night at home with a great girlfriend of ours. We got take out, had champagne  played board games and watched a movie all while the baby slept.  It was a BLAST.  

I just realized I still refer to Jack my 13 month old as The Baby. haha He really is quite the big boy now. 

I don't know if I would call it a "resolution" but starting now I am on my weight loss(80lb)/ PCOS regulating journey. I am going to be taking 6 all natural supplements daily. Prenatal, Metformin,pure  raspberry keytones, Caralluma Fimbriata, Moringa and Green coffee bean extract. Along with weight watchers and using my fitnesspal app and exercising. I want to feel good about myself physically again, feel comfortable in public (beach ect.) , and get back a lot of that energy i used to have.   OH YEAH and get pregnant on my own and sustain the pregnancy!!

What are your changes you are making this coming year?